Hey, yes, I may be considered as "one of them". I'm the one who tends to talk with "creatures of my imagination", and yes, sometimes even read that weird book. That's what the world thinks. What actually are those "imaginary creatures", this weird book and all together, why am I so weird? The truth is that I have three completely real and definitely non-imagined friends- God-father, God-son and the Holy Spirit. I read the Bible and God kindly likes to call me a christian.
Everything started as in a fairy tale- once upon a time and such, well not really fairy tale- once upon a time, full of tears and problem, and such.
Being a small child it was hard to handle the divorce of my parents, constant moving from one place to another, scars of alcohol on my parents faces and on top of it - disappointment in life as whole.
As I grew,grew my problems and within that - life with no values.Such emptiness and hundreds of unanswered questions. Why my parents don't live together? Why I don't have lots of money and the "coolest" clothes? Why nobody loves me? I was in such position where the only exit seemed to be suicide. And so I lived with this empty heart in the crowded world.
Until one day I somehow met the right people and went to a camp, just to have a good time. Who would have thought that it's going to be a christian camp? Definitely not me . That was one of the main reasons why I spent the first day only in my room, I didn't even eat, I guess it was a protest of a sort. The name of the camp was "Touch", for me it was something more than just a name, it was a literal touch, because something did TOUCH my heart. Well, when I finally managed to leave my room and start doing some of the activities, I started to really like it, and not because it would be pretty or nice in there, no, there was something..more. There was love. First time in my life I felt that others could actually love me. That was the night when I accepted Jesus.
But when I got home, my old life started again. After half a year, I was in "Touch" again, but this time with a goal, I needed God. I simply prayed- "Dear, God, when I will get back home, please, take away everything which separates me from you, even if it hurts." And believe me, it did hurt, a lot.
When I got home ,all of my friends separated themselves from me. They stopped calling me asking me to parties or just asking me to hang out. For the first month it was ok, maybe everybody's just very busy, but then I understood that God took away, what he had to take away. It was very difficult-understanding that things should be that way. For a half year my only schedule consisted of school-home-school-home rhythm, I hurried home just to cry, it was hurtful, because people in my age need friends ,but I didn't have any of my old ones and I didn't quite know any of the christian people yet. I was alone again. Well, I had God, but it wasn't easy for me, I stood strong and I fell but with that I kind of started to understand the real meaning of things, I still felt loved even though I didn't have any friends, but I had somebody to whom I could always go. That was the first time, when I had this huge belief in God and everything I did, went through Him. I started doing things I thought I'll never do, for example play drums. All together that wasn't an easy time for me, but to go to Paris, you need to go through Poland, eh?
Right now there's a week until my 18th birthday, and I am a girl who's main priority is God. My parents still don't live together, but now I understand that no relationship can survive with no love. I still don't have the coolest clothes or tons of money, but I understand that it's not a priority of mine and that the lack of it doesn't change the quality of my life. Well it seems as if nothing would've changed and I'd still have nothing. But I don't , I know that God loves me. My friend has become a christian , and, well, right now I have many christian friends. My mom and my brother, both became christians and I can smile truthfully really for no reason :)
I just wanted to say, that God has no "NO" there's only "YES", "WAIT A LITTLE" or "I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER IN MIND". Remain in God, even when He's silent. :)
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